Lessons in Leadership
What a paid monthly post for the Hickory Algorithm Newsletter looks like.
I was reminded of something today.
Something that I haven’t felt it quite a long time.
The worst part of running a business for so long wasn’t the day to day grind. It wasn’t the many impromptu obstacles that seemed to pop up hourly or the many personalities you have to juggle.
Or the constant chattering of talking coworkers that feel ‘they could do it better.’ Hiring, firing, training, and the developing cycle that seems to recycle every day. Those things aren’t the worst part of leadership.
It was letting a ‘good one’ go is the worst part.
‘good one’ - employee/manager you can count on or rely on to get the best possible outcome available for the task
Build + Build + Build = Development
When hiring a new employee or bringing in a new member of the team there are criteria that we want that person to meet.
It is never about their accomplishments for me.
When a person would come in for an interview my questions always caught them off guard because while most of the conversation would bend to what the interviewee THINKS I would want to hear.
They would start with what I like to call “The Greatest Hits” like:
“Straight A’s.”
“Work Ethic.”
“How good I would be at this job.”
I wanted to know more about what is happening in their life that involves being part of a group. Sports, Dungeons and dragons, and gaming were a big deal to me when I would ask what they do for fun.
Why those 3 things?
Each one of those things are done in groups. You learn how to work as a team, you learn how to go after what you want (paid), and there is always a clear map of how to get to the things you wanted.
You have to work hard in sports or you will get passed by.
Dungeons and Dragons requires leaving your comfort zone to accomplish the unknown as a group.
Gaming has accomplishments, loot for your character, and most games have modes that need multiple people to accomplish the goal.
If one of these were mentioned in an interview with me, more likely than not, you would be added to the team.
Because the people before them were cut from the same cloth making the day they started that new job/position with me would be welcomed with open arms by their coworkers because they all had something in common.
Through the camaraderie, we could start to build together.
And keep building.
Building is just the start.
Developing along the way is to gain trust through day to day objectives.
Challenging your best.
Letting them fail.
Then picking them up, dusting them off and going back to building again.
Each lesson can be used as a learning experience and once you get enough of those, maybe just maybe - you find a ‘good one.’
These members of organizations normally have manager titles and a set keys to your business.
That’s pretty high praise but, only the good ones get em.
Some of the most heartbreaking experiences of my life have been letting ‘good ones’ go.
I would spend years helping them grow professionally and personally.
I would watch as they would have long term relationships that turn into dust before their eyes, family members passing, go to their kids sport games, or watching them go through college and the many problems at work, day in and day out, we would solve together.
Then a surprise two week notice letter folded into an envelope on a clipboard and then poof..
They are gone.
I used to get pissed about getting those envelopes.
Like really pissed.
It wasn’t until a couple years into my leadership journey that I had one guy come up to me out of the blue the morning of when our schedule was being released saying “I got another job, today is my last day.”
I should have been furious. I just finished making the schedule. Not only did I NOT get a notice but, he was one of the best people I ever had the privilege of building with. I remember he told me he got a better paying job and I was too emotional to even say anything back.
I just stood there silent.
And so did he.
After what felt like an eternity of silence I decided to give him a hug. We both teared up and I asked about his new position. We had good conversation but, it was quick because neither one of us wanted to have that conversation.
It was hard, way harder than anyone would ever tell you.
I had that experience again today.
I’ve been out of the manager game for some time and never thought I would feel that way again. Until I was standing outside Maiden High School where both of my fellow volunteers were talking about moving on to other schools.
I think my reaction to the news shocked them when they told me, because I meant every word of it.
“Good. You should.”
They were more than ready to move on.
I could see that.
We have built and built and built and together we have developed enough to stand on their own. To take the next step to another school and help those kids. Facilitate their own schools and make their own impact.
I forgot what it was like to let a ‘good one’ go.
The Coaching Tree vs Coaching Trees
When I hear the term coaching tree it has always just sorta makes me think, “cool story bro.”
A local mortgage broker in the Hickory area was so proud of being the 8th best lender in all of North Carolina. I sat through their presentation at local meeting and was thinking how awesome that must feel.
But, you know what’s cooler than 8?
Number 1.
I asked them after the meeting “Number 1 next year right?”
They took it as I was raining on their parade. I opened my mouth and inserted foot. But, I wasn’t trying to rain on their parade I was telling them how they could easily be number 1 if they keep it up and that I was proud of them.
It didn’t turn out that way. and they never spoke to me again. Still to this day I see them and crickets. 😬
A Coaching Tree is cool and all but, why not a couple Coaching Trees?
A forest of Coaching Trees!
I’m a crazy person - I’ve been told this many of times in my life.
When my wife and I were moving from Pittsburgh to Hickory the hardest thing to leave was our house.
Not because of the sentimental value of having no kids when we first moved in, then raising our kids there but, because of the trees in the back yard.
We would sit every night together, outside, and talk about our day.
Watching the trees grow, sway, bend and move to the elements of the weather and go through the ups and downs of the weathering in our own lives.
When we visited Pittsburgh, my wife and I got emotional driving past our house not because the front of the house was upgraded, the walkway being different, or the color of the house changing.
We didn’t want anything to happen to the trees in the back.
We watched those trees grow from the time we were 24 to 40 years old.
We helped them grow and they grew with us.
As we drove by, my wife and I with tears in our eyes glanced at the back yard- the trees were fine.
They were doing just fine without us.
Lessons in Leadership
That was why it was so hard to leave those trees in the back of my house. They were a symbol of all the hard work we put into living there. The feelings of leaving those trees. They represented relationships that grew over time.
Whether that was family, coaching, friends, or working.
We are proud of those trees.
The loneliness of leadership is incredibly hard but, knowing you have helped build and build and build to a point where development helps a person grow to new heights.
Watching the ‘good ones’ go, hurts.
Those good ones go on to help and grow other trees. The good ones go on to grow more and more and more.
The ‘good ones’ go on to create their own trees.
Their own impacts to help others.
Isn’t that the leadership we should be striving for?
The ‘Good ones’ go on to create more, their own trees and before you know it…..
Go ones to support:
Toastmasters OG, and friend Coach Mike, is doing his seminar at our local Chamber of Commerce on, Tuesday May 19th!
During this two-hour seminar you will:
Create and/or Improve your 30-60 second intros;
Learn what NOT to say in your intros;
Know how to pick the best networking meetings for your business;
Location: The Chamber of Catawba County, 1055 Southgate Corporate Park SW, Hickory, NC 28602
Date and time: Tue, May 19, 2026 10:00 AM - 12:00 PM ET
Organizer: Michael Davis, (704) 325-0263, coachmike@coachmikenow.com
REGISTER HERE
Use Code: Yay4Chris for discount! Not joking.
Did you know Coach Mike is on substack too? Give him a follow!
Mastermind Member, Matt McGlinsky at Broome Insurance is hosting a monthly seminar for Medicare.
ANOTHER Mastermind Member, Stephanie Gates is calling all local Realtors
Ai in Real Estate Event for Local Agents
Past Articles:
Leadership / Coaching / Networking
The Hickory Algorithm solves the problem of your business being unseen in Hickory, North Carolina.
1 on 1 Development Classes include a 90 day Growth package, networking group guides, marketing strategies, business assessments, and a seat exclusive Mastermind group.
For more information check out our website.
(we made it ourselves - we are pretty proud of it).
The Hickory Algorithm . com
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